Wednesday, 30 March 2016




I have been nursing a broken heart.

Cleophas Onyango and I went on a date. It was sudden and unexpected.

He found me at a shop in my pyjamas at 11AM, buying Always pads and demanding that the shopkeeper starts selling alcoholic drinks and regularly giving free Wi-Fi, for those of us with an unhealthy alcohol and porn addiction. A small crowd of consumers had gathered, and most of them were nodding profusely in agreement to my arguments about the importance of equality in offering goods and services to all, including we, the lowlives and scum of the neighbourhood. I felt like Boniface Mwangi.

Cleophas Onyango was there to buy a pencil and a ruler.

"Let's go on a date," he suggested, after I had finished my speech on the challenges we, as imbibers of alcohol and watchers of porn, face in the neighbourhood.

"Great idea!" I agreed.

So we went outside the shop and stood next to it under a shade. I leant against a wall and Cleophas Onyango stood in front of me, with one arm on the wall to support himself. He looked at me closely and asked, "How are you, my love?"

"Desperate. And a little bit bloated," I said. "You?"

"I'm well, my resplendent tilapia fish, shimmering under the dark lake to the reflection of the silver moon."

"Aw, you make me blush!" I giggled.

"I love making you blush."

"Oh, but you should know that blush is expensive, especially blush fron MAC or L'Oréal. And to get blush that blends in well with my skin tone is kinda tough, so go easy on the whole making me blush thing, kiddo."


Cleophas Onyango smiled, his yellow teeth burning my eyes. He held my hand, the one that wasn't carrying the pack of Always pads, and asked me to give him my heart. I told him that I was using it, but if he needed a kidney, I'd be a glad donor. He told me sweet and delicious things, like how he saw an ideal girlfriend in me, and how he was unfazed by our age difference, and how he was committed to making me happy. He asked me what my future plans were. I told him that I planned to go back to the shop and continue fighting for the rights of alcohol imbibers and porn watchers in the neighbourhood.

"No, I mean future plans as in long-term life plans," he clarified.

I thought long and hard.

It was an important question.

I pondered.

"Long-term life plans?" I asked.

He nodded.

I weighed the question.

I reflected upon it.

"Like what I plan to eat for dinner? Or what I intend to wear tomorrow?" I asked.

He chuckled and shook his head and said, "Never mind."

He confided in me. He told me that he performed poorly in physics and that he was stressed about the ongoing mid-term exams in his school. I confided in him too. I told him that I perform poorly in bed. He told me not to worry because he would teach me a few skills. I told him that my bones are not as flexible as my morals, so he would have to use those skills on himself.

  • He was still holding my hand. He lovingly squeezed it a little and asked me to buy him a smartphone and a pair of moccasins that he saw at Bata. I remembered that I have this condition called poverty which would make it impossible for me to be his sponsor (or anyone else's, for that matter), so I told him that I cannot have an intimate relationship with a young boy who has a smartphone and wears moccasins.

"It's a complete turn off," I told him.

He nodded and said that he understood. Then he said that he wanted to go home and finish his homework. We bid each other sweet adieu and I sighed deeply and looked at him dreamily as he walked away.

Hours later, that afternoon, I saw Cleophas Onyango in the company of a mature woman from a neighbouring plot. They were standing next to that neighbouring plot's gate. The woman was giggling at what the young boy was telling her. She reminded me of myself when Cleophas Onyango was comparing me to a hibiscus flower.

The following morning, I saw Cleophas Onyango in the company of the same woman. He was holding a smartphone, and on his feet, were a new pair of blueish-greenish moccasins.



Thursday, 24 September 2015

Gospel singer Kambua- A blend of beuty, character and brains

#WCW: Gospel singer Kambua – a blend of beauty, character and brains

Saturday, 29 August 2015

Devolution CS Anne Waiguru Revives Her Court Battle With Daily Post, Here Is Why

Devolution Cabinet Secretary Miss Anne Waiguru has renewed her court battle with Google Inc. and its client, the infamous blog; Daily Post.

Anne Waiguru had gone to court last year and sued Daily Post after it published a defamatory article about her, Google however declined to name who the owners of Daily Post are. That was last year and Anne Waiguru seems not to have lost hope after she filed new lawsuits against Google and has asked the court to summon Google Inc. within 15 days so that the case can be commenced.

"Why Does CS Waiguru Need A Carpet To Plant A Tree" Troubled Facebooker Asks. [Photo]

The Devolution claims that the article by Daily Post has caused trauma and brought embarrassment to her & her family, Anne Waiguru laments that the story has been used to bully her children at school and all she wants is the story be pulled down and compensated for the ‘damages’ caused to her.

source by

How your Friday night plans could be chasing Mr. Right

If you are wondering why you are always the bridesmaid and never the bride, you might need to evaluate how you spend your free time. According to personal branding expert, Robert Burale, your Friday night plans could have a lot to do with why men avoid serious commitments with you.

“If you are the kind of lady who receives calls from your male friends to go to night clubs for party upon party and NOTHING else…well you may think that they love your company but there is a hidden message…to them YOU are NOT wife material (sic),” posted Burale.

According to Burale, party girls are fun to have on a Friday night, but no man takes such women seriously.

He argues that wild women are favoured by men who are still sowing their wild oats, but when it comes to marriage they are not considered,

“Don’t get it twisted. The woman a man takes to his mum to introduce her as a future wife is not found in the category of the ladies who go out with him and the boys drinking like crazy,”

Though many online users agreed with his sentiments, others pointed out that there seemed to be a double standard in his approach.

“And as usual the woman is the one required to be righteous yet men are actually supposed to lead the way. You want wife material? You’d better be husband material,” Káhthariná Kiiru

Monicah Sey said her story disproves his theory, “Seriously Rob, my fiancé and l met at our work place but we go on drinking sprees with his boys. He introduced me to his family and his mum loves me. Going out to drink doesn’t determine whether you’re a wife material, men fall in love even with prostitutes.”

Most men agreed with Burale’s post, with some asking how party women could run homes and raise families.

“I keep asking where are our true African ladies? You will hear them say that they’re proud of their mothers. Where would they be today if their mothers choose the paths they are taking?” posted Isaac Karanja.

Though there was no consensus after the debate, it seemed that most online users agreed with Burale’s sentiments.

What is your take? Do you think drinking makes a woman less marriageable?

Source by Citizen digital

"Prophet Owuor is a Con-man" Controversial Sadist Robert Alai Blasts City Prophet

Prophet Owuor has been facing defaming shots from his haters ever since he began hitting headlines concerning his Healing and Miracle spiritual powers. Others though, have been ardent followers of his word and have never missed any of the Prophet's congregations and town crusades.

Prophet David Awuor and Blogger Robert Alai

Even though thousands of his haters have likened him to other debatable city preachers like Pastor Kanyari and James Ng'ang'a, Pastor Owuor has always continued with his duty. Controversial blogger and sadist Robert Alai however thinks that Owuor is just another controversial city pastor who has a way of draining the last coin from his unsuspecting followers.

More Woes: Pastor James Maina Ng'ang'a Bank Accounts Frozen [Details]

Robert Alai also through the same post denigrated the NYS youth by labeling them as a gang of idle souls who have been brainwashed into singing and playing for Owuor. Alai posted the photo below and captioned it with;
"NYS is just full of gangs. Now see them play for that conman called Owuor. Idle souls."
Prophet Awuor leading NYS youth

. Source by

Friday, 28 August 2015

Wedding fever! Another TV personality is getting hitched

It seems wedding fever is sweeping across the media fraternity as another news personality has announced his nuptials.
NTV business anchor, Dann Mwangi, will be tying the knot with his longtime girlfriend, Wangeci Mwangi, on September 5th in Nairobi.

Dann, who is known as Number8 in rap circles, proposed to his sweetheart backstage after they’d concluded a Hip-Hop event dubbed Beats and Pieces of Old School.
The function, which celebrated the evolution of gospel Hip-Hop, took place in March this year, and Wangeci was one of the vocalists at the function.
Wangeci is a talented singer, and she is one of the founding members of Zidi The Band.
After she said yes, Dann shared the good news on his Facebook page saying, “Yoooooo! Jesus said yes, she did the same. Actually, “YES, OF COURSE”, she proclaimed.”

A Rare Photo Of Julie Gichuru Rocking A Bikini & She Looks Dangerously Sexy!

Citizen TV's Julie Gichuru was currently at the coast for holiday as a custom she had to hit the beach and she had to strip down and put on a bikini!

A Rare Photo Of Julie Gichuru Rocking A Bikini & She Looks Dangerously Sexy!

PHOTOS - Kenyan Female Celebrities, TV & Radio Personalities Looking Hot In Sexy Bikini Clad

Many would love to see the anchor in a bikini but she decided to share a half-bikini photo and keep the rest of the photo, i don't why but hey ogle at her half-bikini photo below;

A Rare Photo Of Julie Gichuru Rocking A Bikini & She Looks Dangerously Sexy!
source by